I grew up in East Providence RI the second of four children. Most of my siblings were competitive athletes both in high school and college. I was fortunate to attend Phillips Exeter Academy in the very early days of coeducation, following my brother who attended when Exeter was still “all boys.”
At Exeter, I was introduced to so many sports including ice hockey. Because Exeter had two rinks, they had the facilities available to support the beginning of girls’ athletics. I played field hockey and lacrosse, but I excelled in hockey because I had been a figure skater for many years and was competent in my skates. The young women with whom I played in boarding school graduated and started up the hockey teams throughout New England—Dartmouth, Williams, Colby, Harvard. We played against each other through college; several women who played at Williams, for example, were former teammates.
I played field hockey for two years and switched to soccer for my junior and senior years, and I played ice hockey and lacrosse all four years and captained both teams. There was never a season when I was not participating in athletics for Wesleyan. I was the first recipient of the Hoagland Award in women’s athletics, something I am particularly proud of because Suki Hoagland '78 had been a teammate and a greatly admired student athlete at Wesleyan.
Let me be clear that this period, from 1975 to 1979, women’s sports at Wesleyan was still in its infancy. We were a small and close bunch, and I relished the relationships with my teammates as my closest friends. It was all a joy for me, truly. And we were close pals with the men’s teams, particularly hockey and lacrosse and occasionally traveled together to Maine, for example, to play Bowdoin and Bates.
We had warm and eager coaches for the most part. Many of the players were relatively new to the game. Many of my teammates who played hockey were “beginner” skaters. Certainly it was an eye-opener to play lacrosse for Gale Lackey, who joined the department during my senior year and brought a level of professionalism to women’s athletics at Wesleyan that we had not experienced in the past. But let me call out Sandy Tucci, who coached us for a couple of years before Gale. I don’t know how he got roped into coaching us, but he was a good coach although schooled in men’s lacrosse and not women’s! But it was during Gale’s inaugural year that we won the Little Three in lacrosse. I still have my charm.
Jimmy Joy, the head crew coach, was tasked with coaching the women’s hockey team because he was Canadian! But a good guy and a pleasure to be a part of it.
So, I guess for me, the whole experience was joyful and life-changing. I loved being on a team, and I stayed with it until I retired.
After Wesleyan, I began a 43-year career as an educator, and most of those years including coaching. During my last gig as Headmistress of The Bryn Mawr School I coached the girls’ ice hockey team every winter. Girls’ hockey has been a central part of my life.
Here’s something I wrote to my faculty as I retired from Bryn Mawr. Hope it’s useful.
I got a nice note from a parent whose two daughters skated with me over the years. “Too bad you couldn’t have taught the entire class how to skate.”
When I think about my life as a teacher, I keep coming back to a four-word phrase: “Come skate with me.” I’m an old woman wearing a stupid hockey helmet, chewing gum, and looking you over. “I don’t like the way you are stopping. Come skate with me.” Or, “Hey Susie, you have your right skate under you but not your left. Come skate with me for a while.” Or the classic first-day interview:
“OK, have you EVER skated in your life. No? OK, can you ski? No? Have you taken horseback riding lessons? (there’s a reason for that.) No. OK, well, let’s go, you are going to fall down constantly, but I’ll teach you how to get up. If you don’t fall then you are not trying hard enough, so come one, Come skate with me.” That’s it. Take away their panic, look them in the eye, praise CONSTANTLY, be endlessly patient. Believe in them, “you will get this, it just seems to take forever and suddenly you are skating backwards without fear.”
Come skate with me. Truly, honestly, my authentic self is doing that.
Thanks for the opportunity to explore this. Playing on a team for Wesleyan was joyful and defined me as a person. I am grateful beyond measure for this.
